I don’t love my job.  Period. 

 Age old discussion about whether it is better to have a job that you don’t like but pays well or to have a job that you love but pays okay.

 I am still in the job I have been for the last 13 years (in fact my anniversary is coming end of this month).  I used to love the job, no matter how difficult the work was or how hard the clients were to deal with.  Friends I speak to, always has something to complain about their jobs.  I had none.  In fact, I kept quiet most times because if you allowed me, I would have serenaded about my job.

 So what changed?  Life changed, priorities changed, interests changed, I changed.

 I am great at what I do.  Clients love me, workmates look up to me and love working with me.  There is something about me that allows me to do my job well – everyone tells me everything!  Information is power and that helps me to navigate the intricate maze of human relationships.  I get paid relatively well for it.  But remember, I don’t love my job anymore.

 For quite a while I struggled with what I should do.  Quit my job?  Go find a job I really love but perhaps don’t pay as well?  Stick to my current skill sets and move to a new environment?  Mostly I struggled with the fact that I don’t love my job anymore so why do it?  In my mind, spending 40 hours a week doing something I don’t really care for, is not exactly a great use of my time.

 I then came across a few articles on the Internet.  These articles say that I don’t need to love my job.  Everyone touted that if you do the job you love, you will be happy and you will perform well.  These articles point out that I should not get bogged down by traditional beliefs.  I come to realise that I don’t need to love my job to do it well.  I pack and organize my closets very well, but I don’t love it.

 My feelings about my job has evolved throughout the years.  It is now a means to an end.  Some ends actually.  The means to have a new house (I just moved to a bigger place!), the means to have a lifestyle that my family and I want, the means to go away regularly on vacations, the means to have a better and nicer life.

 These ends are my priorities now – if you look closer , it points to one single priority – my family.  Once I reached this epiphany, things at work seem more bearable and I even catch myself enjoying some parts of it!  I have my ups and downs but staying positive and focused helps a lot in getting the job done.

 So, it is okay not to love my job, as long as I know why I am working.

“Go out into the world and find your fortune”, said the mother of the 3 little pigs.

The world has shrunk.  The advancement of the aviation industry has made business travel easier than it has ever been in the past.  From Singapore, you only need to travel 1 hour to get to Kuala Lumpur, 5 hours to Beijing and 8 to Sydney.  Business is no longer conducted at home.  Face to face meetings are preferred over the less personal conference call or emails whenever possible.  “Business Traveller” or “Road Warrior” is now a label that a lot of us working mothers have added to our many roles.

And I hate every business trip that I have ever been on.  There I said it. 

I am not sure about you, but being away from my family for days, and at times for weeks, is not something I look forward to.  My friends and family would comfort me, saying it would be a good break from the kids.  I even joked that perhaps I can finally get a night’s of uninterrupted sleep.  I certainly enjoyed the shopping, late night outs with co-workers and sometimes even the sight-seeing.

However, there are 2 parts of a business trip that I dislike.

1 The Flying
I am afraid of flying.  No, I do not get cold sweat or grab tightly to my seat or cling on to my fellow passenger.  I do not need a drink or a pill.  The reason I am afraid of flying is that I am afraid that I will never see my dear husband and my family ever again.  I know I probably have more chances of dying in a road accident, but being in a sealed tin can 3,000 miles above the ground does not evoke feelings of peace for me.

2 The Hotel
Since I work for a US multi-national company, the hotels that we use are reputable ones.  Nice ones.  With lovely branded bath foams and huge LCD wall-mounted TVs.  But what I hate is the feeling I get when I return to an empty room.  I have had a hard day’s at work and all I can return to is an empty room.  No hugs, no kisses and certainly no kids clinging onto my every limb.  It seemed to make my work meaningless.

And to make matters worse, we now have to contend with the possiblility that we may be terrorised.  When I saw the news report of the Jarkata bombings a few days ago and how Singaporeans were hurt, it just hit home to how it could also happen to me.

So, every time my plane lands in Singapore, I say a quiet prayer.  Thank you for taking be back safe and sound.  It is at this moment that I appreciate deeply what I have now and how far I have come in my life.  I would be conscious of not taking my dear husband for granted and spending quality time with my kids.  I would be happy eating simple home cooked meals instead of massive hotel buffets.  I would even go as far as enjoying the warm weather here instead of dressing myself in mutiple layers before going out into the cold winters.

Well, perhaps business trips are not as bad as I thought they were.  After all, they do make me see things that I often over look in my busy daily life.