I have 4 kids and a full time job.  Every single day is a challenge, an adventure.  In this little island in the far East, our fast paced lives and the social norm of having a dual income family, has changed the dynamics of the traditional view of a family.  I grew up in a family of 3 kids, mom is a full time housewife until we were teenagers.  Even when she started working, she was there to ensure that we maintain the normality of a traditional family.

As I try to do that for my own kids, who by the way have ages ranging from 1.5 to 9.5 years old, I find it most frustrating.  Then I found out from my friends and colleagues, that they do have the same frustrating experience.  My husband is a pretty hands on father, and he too finds time lacking and quality not up to what he would like.

Over the 10 years that I have been a mother, I also had to deal with the full time job that I have – datelines, meetings, reports.  Every day is a constant tug of war, a delicate balance that I have to find. Somedays I do good, others not so, and there are some days that I hope I never have to experience ever again in my life.

Nevertheless, here are some things that I do to keep my sanity and my balance between work and family.

1 Keep work at work and home at home
It is so important to leave my work at the door and be really present for my family.  I am still struggling with this one as I try to keep the 2 parts of my life separate.  On days that I am able to, I feel great about myself that I am able to keep in control.  Draw the line and compartmentalise your work and your home.

2 Let go of the guilt
As I had the luxury of working from home a month after my first child was born until my third was a year old, it was very difficult for me when I had to go back to the office when my fourth was 4 months old.  I felt guilty about spending time away from all my children and having less time for them.  I realise that guilt is not helping me but dragging me down – I overcompensate or I have difficulty managing my emotions.  I now try to find ways to maintain a balance and also make sure that I have quality interactions with them.  Let go of the guilt – don’t waste your emotions.

3 Don’t forget your husband
My husband is my best friend and soulmate.  If I don’t pay attention to my relationship with him, I would have overlooked perhaps the most important part of my life, next to God.  I try to spend time with him having meals together, dates and doing our all time favourite activity – watching TV.  If you have to choose spending time with your husband or your children, choose your husband everytime.  A good marriage pave way for a good family.  Best gift for your kids.

4 Don’t forget yourself
How do I stretch that 24 hours to include myself?  I barely have enough for work, kids and husband.  One advice – just do it.  If I don’t then I would have shortchanged all my love ones and my career.  Only when I take care of myself can I produce good work and a well managed family life.  Even 1 hour a week works wonders for me.  Take the Nike advice and just do it.

5 Pray
Praying works for me and perhaps for you, it is meditation.  I guess my point is to have a place to park your worries and cares.  No, it does not mean that I will behave irresponsibly.  It is just a means of temporarily freeing your mind and refresh your soul.  This way, I get energise and refocused to continue the journey.

What do you do to keep that balance?