http://www.mummysg.com/forums/f97/being-special-parenting-child-medical-conditions-15948/

I stumbled upon this forum when I was surfing.  As I read the many posts, tears ran down my face.  It did not help matters when I found out this morning that a girl friend lost her baby at 4.5 months.

How I have taken my kids for granted!  How I have squandered the gifts that my God has so gracefully showered upon me!  How I have been so self-centred, selfish and unloving!

It reminds me of the story that was circulated in the internet some years back. 

It was about this mother, in queue for coffee and complaining about her kids to her friend, saying how messy they were and how frustrated she was cleaning the house.  The woman behind her tap her on her shoulder and told her that her house is clean, there are no footprints, things are never messy.  The reason was because some years back, she lost all her kids in a car accident.  Now she wishes that her house is messy, footprints everywhere and that there are dirty clothes on the floor.

How easy it is to get lost in the daily grind and forget about the important things in life!  I am going back home tonight to hug my kids a second time, kiss them hard and tell them that I love them, no matter what.  I may still nag about the messy house but I will not quite mean it.  I pledge to remember that I must give thanks every single day for my 4 gifts and not only think about myself.

Have you hug your kids today?

I feel invincible today.  Why? Because I did not let anything faze me.

It feels great to be in charge of my life, my emotions, my reactions, and in general all the other stuff in my life.  That is not to say that everything is perfect now.  I still have unpaid bills, unplanned meals, undone laundry and a messy handbag.  But I can find what I need and I know I can put a plan together to do the undone tasks.

Keeping that chin up ALL of the time is a huge effort in itself.  But it is possible, I have seen it in some of my friends.  Nothing seem to push them down for too long and they ALWAYS pick themselves up and move on.  I am working on it.  I know I can do it.  Especially today.

I pledge to deal with bad emotions and vibes positively.
I pledge to be calm and collected in the face of emergencies of any kind.
I pledge to define myself with God and the people who geniuely love me for who I am.
I pledge to keep positive people around me.
I pledge to be a good Christian, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, colleague, coach – roughly in that order.

I am letting this invincible feelings wash over the whole of me.  I know I won’t be able to hold on to it forever – afterall, life goes up and down.  But for now, I am enjoying it.

My husband gave his a co-worker a ride today.  They chatted in the car and when he got back, he shared her story with me.  Her name is Rachel*.  She and her husband Dan*, are Malaysians working in Singapore.  For those of you out there who are not aware, geographically Malaysia and Singapore are close neighbours.  It is very common for folks to travel for work in the neighbouring country.

Since they are on work permits, they are living in rented public housing.  They have 2 small children back home in Malaysia, but they do not see them often.  Rachel is a hardware technician while Dan works as a technician in an oil refinery.  They receive relatively low wages due to their lower educational background.  Dan often have to pick up overtime, from 8.30am to 10pm at night, so as to work towards a better future.

Then, there is another story of Ling*.  She, like Rachel, works here in Singapore from Malaysia.  Ling and her husband, Lee*, just had a baby girl.  But as she is not a Singaporean, she only gets 2 months of maternity leave instead of 4.  After 2 months, she left her baby in her hometown in Ipoh to come back to work here in Singapore.  Due to their low income, they can only afford to go back to Ipoh every few months.

My husband also shared a story he heard from a friend.  Many people from rural China leave their hometowns to get a job in big cities.  They beg and borrow and scrap up enough money to make the trip to the city.  There they work in hard labour jobs with low wages.  Often, these men are not able to visit their families for years on end and some for the rest of their lives.  Their families live from hand to mouth on the wages the men send home and are seldom able to visit them as well.

It is when I hear of stories of hardship like these that I remember that I have a lot to be grateful about. 

I am lucky to have parents who insisted on a good education and pushed me to achieve what I can.  With a degree, I was able to get a good job.  With a good education, it provided me with strong and solid stepping stones to get to where I want to be.  I am grateful to have a strong a supportive family and family in-law.  I am grateful that even with 4 kids, my husband and I can enjoy the occasional Starbuck coffee or a 3 day holiday in Phuket.

I am grateful that I get to see my kids grow up.  I have the chance of being close to them and be a support to them.  I get to see them florish under my care and sprout strong wings to fly.  I am grateful for my friends who are always there for me, for better or for worse.

I am grateful for my husband, who not only is my best friend and soul mate, but also my pillar of strength.  He is whom I would want to spend the rest of my life with.

Most of all, I am grateful for my faith and the ability to practice it here in Singapore.  I know of people who are ostracised or even killed for proclaiming their faith.

Life is hard, but for some, it is particularly hard.  We can keep complaining about our aches and pain, or we can choose to take them in our stride.  We can stay selfish and only see our own suffering, or we can reach out to others who need a helping hand.  We can lament about how our friends and neighbours are doing better than us, or we can learn to be content with what we have.  We can choose to stay miserable and only exist, or we can choose to be happy and live.

What is your choice? 

*names have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals